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Fear

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It’s summer. It’s 8:30pm, and I’m drinking coffee because I have a ton of work to do. Starting a business has been much harder than I ever thought it would be. I don’t exactly know what I thought my expectations were when it came to the “ease” of it, but it’s proving to be a lot, for sure. I went to bed at almost 2am last night and woke up with B at 7. This has become my new norm. Despite the work, it’s been an absolute BLAST. I look forward to staying up late every night working. This is such a dream come true for me!

For anyone who has ever had a dream to do something, my simple advice is just do it. Easier said than done, you’re probably thinking. I’ve had so many people tell me “If anyone was going to start a business, it’s you.” or “You are going places!” and honestly, it’s taken me aback. I don’t see myself like they do. At all. I never thought I could do this. I never thought I was capable. Big ventures like this scare me, and that anxiety in me has held me back my entire life. So when people make comments about how “unsurprised” they are that I’ve done this, it’s very, well, surprising to me that they’re so unsurprised!

There are some things that people probably don’t know about me.  I am incredibly self conscious, I over analyze EVERYTHING, I worry constantly about what people think of me, I have low self esteem, I’ve struggled a lot with the way I look, and I’ve avoided so many opportunities just so I’d avoid finding the limits of my own capabilities. I’ve spent years reading books and taking every personality test under the sun just trying to figure myself out in an attempt to answer the question of why I am the way I am. I could write a book about all those personality quizzes and my journey into self discovery, but the short version of what I discovered about myself in the long process can be summed up in one word: Fear.

I don’t share my insecurities publicly looking for anyone to take pity on me. I’m not looking to hear compliments on the contrary, but I say all of it to say that if the anxiety driven person that you are reading this from can take a giant leap of faith, overcome so many fears, and start a business, then you can do whatever you want, even if you think you can’t! I’m a big ball of uncertainty and self doubt when it comes to myself.  So if you’re thinking “No. Not me. I can’t do what I really want to do. I’m not cut out for it“, we should talk. I challenge you to ask yourself “Why?” Reach deep within.

Is it fear?

Every time I stare at my completed 159 page Klassen Cookies book with a picture of the world on the cover, I am staring at the world (LITERALLY) and screaming to all-

If I can do this then you sure as hell can!

Some of the Klassen Cookies Topics are my life, inspired by my own social and emotional struggles: Feeling Left Out, Perseverance, and Experiencing Failure are just some. I think of the accomplishment and the inner anxiety begins to dissipate.

We feel fear because we feel threatened. For me, I thought I always felt threatened by the world-by everyone else, but really I was only threatened by myself and the expectation I required of myself. (That’s a whole other topic of conversation.) That fear of failure has always given me so much anxiety. So many years of my life have been wasted on fear. But, I truly believe everything is a learning experience, and my life goal is to spread what I’ve learned and shout it to the rooftops. It’s all for a purpose, so I can stand before others and share my own story. And, it’s a big one! (Far more than what I’m writing here!)

Fear is powerful. It can hold us back, or we can use it like a tool to mold and shape our lives into something powerful. And beautiful. And world changing. 

I’ve come to realize that fear is just a manifestation and accumulation of our insecurities. The dictionary will tell you that when we feel threatened we feel fear, but I am going to boldly say that fear IS the threat. Not the other way around.

I’ve come to realize that fear is just a manifestation and accumulation of our insecurities. The dictionary will tell you that when we feel threatened we feel fear, but I am going to boldly say that fear IS the threat. Not the other way around.

I challenge you to write down your dreams and aspirations, big or small. Then ask yourself why you aren’t working toward it and what is holding you back. Is it fear? If so, let’s have some cookies and chat.

(If you’re new to my blog and you’re slightly confused, here’s a post explaining my business)

www.klassencookies.org

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