The Truth About Your Body After Pregnancy

Warning.  This will get personal.  Skip now if you know you don’t want to know!

Let’s get real here.

I’m probably one of the most modest people you will ever meet.  Even before pregnancy you wouldn’t find me in a two-piece bathing suit.  If you’ve had a baby then you probably know exactly what I’m going to talk about based on the title.  If you’ve never had a baby then these might be things you’re wondering about. I know I wondered them.  And the things I did know about I was certain wouldn’t happen to me.  *Sigh* 
This isn’t one of those posts where I talk about all my bodily changes after pregnancy and I sentimentally praise them and tell you that my kid enjoys my stomach jiggling and he belly laughs when he sees it.  Nope. I love my kid, but I do NOT love my post pregnancy body.  
This is just a post telling it like it is.  I’m working on returning to my girlish figure, but it seems there are some things that just don’t go back.  
Like hips! Those birthing hips serve a purpose, but mine certainly don’t seem to be going back.  
My hips are wider and I fit into ONE pair of pants post pregnancy.  Every other pair of shorts or pants are just hanging in my closet, awaiting a day that I’m not sure will arrive. (Here I am, revealing my secret and reason why I wear dresses and skirts…elastic waistband, people!)
Sometimes when I laugh really hard or I sneeze, I pee my pants a little.  I was certain people were just telling me this to freak me out.  Or I thought to myself “Yeah, right.  THAT’S not going to happen to me.”  Well, it does.  And I feel like an 80-year old every time.  
My boobs are pathetic.  Not that they were ever really perky to begin with.  Pregnancy boobs are nice because they’re firm, and you kind of hope that bit will stick around.  But it doesn’t! So when pregnancy is over and you stop breastfeeding, they suddenly look like a deflated balloon after 10 days of just sitting around, forgotten in a corner.  They’re squishy, and droopier than they once were.  No amount of working out or eating healthier is going to help them to return to yesterday.  Thank you to the inventor of the push-up bra! 
That pesky little linea negra – the dark line that runs from your bellow button down.  (And in my case, above my belly button, too). When it showed up on me during pregnancy I freaked out a little, but became used to seeing it.  I was sure it would disappear after Blake was born, or shortly thereafter.  It didn’t.  Seven months later and it’s still present.  Some have told me it can take up to a year to disappear.  Others have said it doesn’t go away.  
Love handles.  Why the heck are they called love handles anyway?  There’s nothing LOVEly about them. I certainly don’t LOVE them.  I curse them every time I put on a shirt in the morning, or a bottom that’s too tight…and they so “lovingly” hang off the sides of my clothes. 
Ohhhh, the lower stomach pooch!  Raise your hand if you love it?!  
And the excess fatty bits beneath your bra line? HA.  
There was a time when I was cold all the time. You’d most likely find me wearing a sweater, or at least carrying one, during summer months.  I rarely wore tank tops out because I knew there would be a chance I’d go somewhere that had the air cranked down too low and I’d find myself freezing.  Every morning I had my heater on in the car, even in the summer. (So not kidding!) I was a cover hog at night, and often got into “cover wars” with my husband from being so cold.  Post pregnancy? I sweat in the middle of the night.  I don’t need to carry around a jacket everywhere.  I blast the air in my car as cold as I can get it, ESPECIALLY during the summer.  My hormones are whacko.  
And with whacko hormones suddenly I’ve developed acne again!  Not bad, but I did not have ANY issues before being pregnant.  Now I find I’m fighting back pimples all over again, just like I was in middle school.  
My hair was once oily. Now it’s more dry. (In this I will admit I do prefer to have the dry hair)
I did manage to escape any and all stretch marks. I’m not even sure if it helped that I lathered myself in cocoa butter lotion several times a day.  I’ve heard you get them or you don’t and nothing you do helps or hinders.  I don’t know.  
Despite all of my post pregnancy body changes, yes, it was all worth it.  It’s just a lot harder to get rid of a post pregnancy body, than it is to get rid of your changing body after you’ve eaten too many bags of chips and sodas.  I could work harder at it.  But I also don’t think I’m ever going to get back to the way I was exactly.  
And you know, I bought these cute little JCrew shorts before I knew I was pregnant.  They still have the tags on them!  I WILL get back into them one of these days.  
I think I may need a hip reduction first, though.  
What post pregnancy body change do you have that have surprised you? 

One thought on “The Truth About Your Body After Pregnancy

  1. You just have to think of stretchmarks and that fabulous line as battle scars. They are the proof that you did in fact spend nine months growing a little person. I would love to say that once you have your first baby, the changes are made and with any baby afterward there are no more changes. But I would by lying. Hips continue to spread. I sometimes envy my friends who had C-sections and had hips that popped back into place. And stomach muscles decide that they are no longer needed. In addition to sneezing being dangerous, laughing can also be a problem after multiple pregnancies. Just remember that this is a great excuse to go shopping and buy all new clothes. Wider hips mean that your lap will be a great spot to sit and read books as Blake gets older and bigger. And God knows how beautiful moms are from the inside.


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